I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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