when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
