I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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