she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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