I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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