She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
