Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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