She said her name was "party"
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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