if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize