Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
