Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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