it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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