I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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