I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
