Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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