i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
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