ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
