Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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