I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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