margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
