Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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