i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
