so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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