It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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