don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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