Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Dicks are not precious.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
