do herpes really smell.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
