Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
