i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
That was an excessively violent trivia night
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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