We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
