I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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