I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
