mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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