yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
