if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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