I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize