Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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