hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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