walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
