no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
