I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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