just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
