My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
