she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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