all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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