so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I checked into jail on foursquare
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I fill condoms, not promises.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
