Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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