Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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