Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
