make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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