My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
