Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
3 2 1 whiskey
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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