Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize