walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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