im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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