I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize