you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I love you. Go after that dick
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
