So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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